You Don't Have to Earn Love : How to Break Free From People Pleasing

If you've ever thought of yourself as a good person because you say yes to everything, put yourself last, and go along to get along — this episode is going to reframe everything.

Today, Ashley sits down with Trina Stutzman — life and executive coach, author of 12 Steps to Overcome People Pleasing, and founder of her own coaching practice dedicated to helping women stop abandoning themselves and start telling the truth out loud and unapologetically. Trina doesn't sugarcoat this topic. She doesn't call people pleasing a habit you can fix with a few boundary tips. She calls it what it is — self-abandonment. And a form of lying. And once you hear it that way, you cannot unhear it.

This conversation is funny, honest, quotable, and genuinely life-changing. You're going to need a minute after this one. 💛

🎙️ StrongHER Voices is the empowering podcast helping women navigate their StrongHER Era with clarity, confidence, and practical, expert-backed support.

Hosted by Ashley Basilio — certified menopause health coach, fitness professional, and women's wellness advocate.

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In this episode, we cover:

✅ Trina's personal journey: a strict religious upbringing, a health wake-up call, and 30 years of reclaiming her voice 
✅ People pleasing as self-abandonment — and why we do the very thing to ourselves that we fear others will do 
✅ People pleasing as lying — and how to start being just 5% more honest 
✅ The resentment connection: why the pressure cooker builds and what to do about it 
✅ Signs you're people pleasing without realizing it — including saying yes before checking in with yourself 
✅ The back burner analogy: why you deserve to be front and center 
✅ How to work through the fear of disappointing people — including why you should disappoint one person a day 
✅ The 12 Steps to Overcome People Pleasing: how the book is structured and how to use it 
✅ Voice lessons (not the singing kind): Trina's VOICE framework and how she works with women 
✅ Closing quotes: choose discomfort over resentment, clear is kind, and more

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👥 Featured Guest

Trina Stutzman — Life and executive coach, author of 12 Steps to Overcome People Pleasing, and founder of Trina Stutzman Coaching. Trina helps women stop abandoning themselves and start telling the truth — with humor, heart, and hard-earned wisdom. She offers one-on-one coaching virtually and in person from Doylestown, Pennsylvania, and works with women anywhere in the world.

Connect with Trina: 
Website: https://www.trinastutzman.com 
Instagram: @trinastutzmancoaching 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trinastutzman/ 
Book on Amazon: 12 Steps to Overcome People Pleasing https://amzn.to/3QgxBcf 
Free 20-min introductory call: https://www.trinastutzman.com 

Resource mentioned: 
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron https://amzn.to/4xlTZSc 

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⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical advice and should not replace consultation with your healthcare provider. Always talk with a qualified professional about your individual health needs before making changes to your diet, exercise, or treatment plan.